Trying Hard

I am trying hard to maintain my mood. The last few days my mood has really improved but today it feels like I have been on a mini roller-coaster, as I seem to be up and then down and so on.

My early morning driving lesson went ok, despite the weather trying to spoil it. Done some other things to try and stabilise my mood but I can feel it slipping. I can also feel myself getting annoyed by this, I know I shouldn't be annoyed but I am. I am trying to focus on the positive, I haven't gone to sleep crying the last few nights, and that is a huge positive, but as usual my mind focuses on the negative and wont acknowledge the positive.

It is funny how the mind does work, one of the few things I want in life is to be happy, yet the moment it starts I look for ways to sabotage it. My mind starts looking for ways to spoil it, to stop it from happening, or reason why it isn't going to happen. Things that shouldn't matter my mind brings to the foremost and keeps there. I am trying hard not to let it win, the doubts etc remain but I haven't stopped doing what is making me smile.