Well I did it, despite the growing anxiety and feeling nauseous I managed to see the Olympic Torch.
There were I realised, as I was waiting for the torch to pass, several reasons for my growing anxieties, firstly there was the fact that I was outside, secondly there was a growing crowd with people regularly walking passed where I was waiting. Yet despite all this I managed to wait, as I was determined that the fears weren't going to beat me. To give you an idea of what the fears mean physically to me, imagine the worse case of butterflies you have had, and add to that light headedness and a feeling of disorientation and you are coming close.
In some small way the camera helps as it can create a small barrier between me and the surrounding world. This feeling of a barrier no matter how artificial does help and allow me to be in situations where previously I wouldn't have been able to cope.
No comments:
Post a Comment