Brain Chemistry

Why I am currently depressed is a complete mystery to me, it sometimes happens like this. Sometimes the cause is obvious, to me at least, it might be an item on the radio which can start my mind thinking in a wrong direction, or it maybe down to some particular event, for example if I believe I have failed in something. But this bout is a mystery, if I break my leg I will have a very good idea of the cause, but with depression sometimes the thought or action that can trigger it can be so fleeting as to not register on your concious memory.

It can be hard explaining this to people when they ask why I am feeling depressed. In fact this echoes my first breakdown, I had completed my degree and was about to start a job, in a part of Wales I love, I had found a flat to move to, and then one morning I woke up and nothing made sense, I didn't know if I was hungry or thirsty, I was terrified if someone asked me even a simply question of getting it wrong, even something as simple as what is your name, I would look for the trick. It was later explained to me that for some reason my brain blew a fuse, and it had needed a rest, this was from my consultant psychiatrist.

 
The depression gets slightly easier to cope with providing that I remember that I have come out of it before and will do again.