Driving Ambition

Was told by my driving instructor last week that the fear he has about my forthcoming driving test is that once I make one mistake I allow it to get to me too much and the rest of my driving falls apart. So I had to decide over the weekend whether or not to pospone my driving test. In the end I decided that even if I were to have another 100 driving lessons they would not help my confidence so the test remains in place, the deal I have with my driving instructor is that I have to learn that it doesn't matter if I make mistakes. So deal in place we spent todays lesson practising manoeuvres so mistakes happened by I managed to say to myself that they didn't matter and got it right the next time or the time after. At the end of my lesson my instructor said that he noticed a difference today and that was what I needed to keep up, so fairly positive despite the errors.

Though I do find it funny thinking about the standard of driving I am going to have achieve in order to pass my test when I look at some of the drivers currently on the road, just today I had more than one car pulling out in front of me, that is despite the fact that I am in a car with a great big sign on the roof with an L on it.

I managed to go out for a short walk today, though not on my own, so that its three days in a row now. Plus the walk happened after I had had a busy day with a lovely visit from a friend, who I hadn't seen for about 19 years, and her two lovely kids. It was great seeing her and thanking her for the help she has given me in the last year. This visit was followed by a driving lesson, so I had a good excuse not to go out, but I did a deal with my dad that if I walk or exercise on my Wii everyday for a month he will help me buy a bike, and then not complain too much when I have to wheel it through the house.

The walk was also hard as the depression hit just before we went out and I spent the walk with time spent taking some photographs, fighting back the tears. But trying to be positive I did it, plus weather and house work allowing tomorrows walk is already planned.