Bottling up

I find it funny that despite writing this blog as a way of trying to stop me bottling tings up I still do. There are still somethings that affect me deeply that I find impossible to write about. There is obviously still a large chunk of my life and thoughts that I don't know how to vocalise, either through this blog or by talking it through with someone.

Really really struggling today having to force myself to write this, full of the feeling of why bother, this is in part due to yet another bad night and headache, but a large part is due to the cloud of depression that seems to have enveloped me recently. I am trying hard to fight it in every way I can think of, for example I love the idea of being able to build something electronic but there are no classes teaching it in my area so I have bought a book with the idea of teaching myself. This is something that when I am well really interests me but at the moment I feel like I am going through the motions with it, that in reality I can't be bothered. This might not sound like anything to be concerned with but when not even my favourite comic can get any real reaction from me it makes me realise how much a grip the depression has on me, as I have said before I see the depression as a duvet, and at the moment I am not only wrapped up in it but I have become entangled not sure which way to turn in order to get out.