Blurgggh

Had a bad start to the day, the alarm went off just two hours after I managed to get to sleep. Then 5 minutes before leaving the house for Big Picture I started sweating for no apparent reason and feeling very sick. Despite this I went to Big Picture and managed to stay most of the day.

Curled up in bed this evening still feel ill, only just managing to get this written. It can be hard, as I have said before, when physically ill to stop the depression starting. I haven't managed it this time, and am currently fighting back the tears. Everything becomes even more of an effort and the reason for fighting it seem even more pointless. Unfortunately the ideas of self harm have come back so yet another thing to fight. Trying to keep in mind the reasons that I do continue fighting, but its hard when you are fighting against your own mind.