People have been saying to me that I have plenty to live for, one of the problems I have is that I genuinely can't think of one. This is not a case of me doing what I do well and catastrophizing, something that is common with depression and anxiety, I really can't see what is so great about my life.
That is such a hard admission to make, when I say this to others they point out my achievements, but that is all in the past, with the majority being done when I was a different person. Another problem with depression is that you can lose interest in things that you have previously enjoyed. The phrase I can't be bothered is inadequate to describe how I really feel about doing things that previously I have enjoyed. I feel like I am having to dig so deep to find the energy to write this and part of me is wondering why I am really bothering. The only reason I managed to get any photos taken yesterday was I used it to escape from a house full of people and noise. Things that I have used in previous bouts of depression to give me even the smallest lift are having no impact upon me this time which if I'm honest is very scary. i feel as if I'm in a very dark place that I have no idea of how to get out of.
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