Rebooting

Being taken off Big Picture has hit me more than I thought at the time, it triggered a bout of bad depression that I am currently having to fight. I think this was because its made me feel worthless, I know it was only one day a week but it had become part of my life and it has been taken away from me.

So the rest of this week has been a fight to keep my mind away from the dark thoughts it seems to enjoy. Into this dark period came a visit from my 4 month old nephew, who took a look at me and grinned, though this might have been something to do with the bottle I was holding. But regardless he is such a happy baby, to the extent he has on several occasions woken himself up giggling. I wish that in some way I could find some of the delight he obviously has in just being.

I had recently tried to make several changes to my routine, unfortunately I have come to the realisation I was trying to make too many changes at once, and so for the next couple of months I am just going to concentrate on getting my sleep sorted, so that I can get to sleep before 5am, and to concentrate on my diet so that I can begin to lose some weight. Once I have these tackled then I will concentrate on getting out daily on my own. It is better for me to take small steps and have them stick than to try and do it all at once and possibly fail.

The other thing I have to get sorted is to see the doctor to see if there is any possible treatment for my headaches, the problem is because of the medication I am already taking the choices of treatments are extremely restricted.

Just because I am not concentrating on getting out daily on my own does not mean that I wont be doing this, though maybe not daily but as often as I can.

I now have a favour to ask anyone who knows me who is reading this, please over the next couple of months can you ask me from time to time if I have completed my food diary.