Really struggling today, been crying since last night. Filled with a mix of anger and self loathing. Had a friends request on Facebook last night, only to discover it was from the girl now going out with my ex. This has triggered my depression, and I'm angry with myself for letting it get to me so badly.
After we split I gave her a second chance only to discover that while she was back with me she was still with someone else. I now feel that our relationship was a total lie, I have no idea why she asked me to marry her, because I obviously didn't mean anything to her. I now feel that her now girlfriend is rubbing my face in the relationship and they are both laughing at how stupid I am.
I wish I could find a balance, to be able to react to situations like this in a balanced manner, instead I just don't want to bother with life anymore, it frightens me as I have started seriously questioning why.
I started writing this blog as a form of release/letting go. I am scared that it has just become a moan that people reading this will think that I am just feeling sorry for myself. I am questioning whether to continue writing this.
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