Trying to be positive is hard, so on the positive side I managed to open the front door today when dad was out, something I usually avoid. I've also done a few jobs around the house and walked for about 1/2 a mile.
On the negative I haven't stopped crying for the last hour. I know the cause but don't know what to do about it, it involves a situation of not my making, but is one that makes me want to hide away from people. People keep telling me I'm amazing etc, but amazing is very much the last thing I feel. It comes back to what my head is constantly telling me, sometimes only a whisper or at times like this shouting at me, if I'm so amazing why am I unemployed, living at home, in therapy, single. I know what the media presents as an ideal e.g the perfect family, the beautiful slim people is not a reality but if one version is portrayed enough and you have a distinct lack of self confidence then you start to compare yourself with these fictions. When you do not live up to them what little self confidence that remains takes another knock.
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