What no hat

One of my safety behaviours that I am having to learn to drop is the wearing of a baseball cap. I use it to hide and to avoid eye contact, a little like a child that believes if it covers its eyes with its hands then you can no longer see them. Twice this week I have gone out without wearing one, including today when I had to go through town twice.

It wasn't easy I felt nauseous and just as I reached home I had one of the worse panic attacks that I have had for sometime, but this hasn't  put me off and I will continue going out occasionally without my safety 'blanket' of my baseball cap.

Being a geek I have come to conclusion that the programming of my brain is faulty and I am now having to find those faults and correct them, the only way I can do this is by constantly testing the programme and then correct it when it comes out with a faulty conclusion.