Sense of Self

I am still really struggling, still fighting back the tears. The littlest things set me off.  A good friend sent me a message last night reminding me that things can flit across my subconscious without me realising, and these flitting thoughts can trigger the tears without me realising the cause.  So whenever the tears either threatened or put in an appearance I tried to think what had been passing through my head, on some occasions I could figure the cause out but there were a few occasions where I could not think of any reason what so ever.

One of my major problems at the moment is I have no real sense of self, no idea where I am going with my life, it might not seem too important for many people but I need to know because I need my reason for living. I wish someone could tell me because at the moment I am just going through the motions, doing things because I should be doing them, not because I want to be doing them.

I know that perhaps I should be just concentrating on my recovery and not dwelling on deep and meaning questions such as the meaning of my life, but I need to know why in order to recover at the moment.