When the majority of people think about anxiety they remember the brief butterflies before an exam or new situation. I wish my anxiety was at that level, it is what I'm aiming for.
To give you an example of how anxiety has become out of control in my life, I have mentioned the social phobia before but the example I want to give is how I became so worked up over a very trivial item I triggered my depression, a bad headache and a sleepless night. Last night I decided I wanted to read a certain book, I was 100% sure that I had bought the book and that it was in my bedroom but I couldn't find it. Instead of leaving it and looking for it the next day, I started moving things round trying to find it. Its not like I don't have other books to read, or that couldn't afford to buy another copy, but these logical thoughts only stayed in my head briefly. I had to stop looking in the end as I had worked myself up so much. Had to spend today reminding myself that last nights actions were a result of my illness, this is not to give me a get out of trying to get better instead it is a way of trying to find a balance so I do recover and not allow this to bring me down again.
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