The last couple of days have been a real fight against thoughts of suicide. People who commit suicide are not cowards, as I have often heard them called, they just don't see anyway forward. I have had to spend every waking hour over the last two days convincing myself that there is a way forward, I have managed so far to convince myself of that though the fight continues though it is easing. I know these thoughts will continue as my birthday approaches, all I can do is try and convince myself that I am not a complete failure and that life is worth living. I am not being melodramatic just matter of fact, these are the thoughts that are going through my head.
The positive side is I have gone from living from minute to minute now thinking about the next day, there is light at the end of the tunnel, even though at the moment it is only a pinprick of light I think nevertheless I can see that pinprick of light.
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