Three steps forward, one back

The effort of the last three days has caught up with me. Really annoyed with myself as I wasn't able to do 2 of the 3 things I had planned today.

Just to add to my anxiety of being outside I have decided to increase it by learning to drive. The reason being that so many of the jobs in my area require a driving licence so to improve my chances of getting a job once I am ready I made the decision to learn to drive.

I've been lucky and found an instructor who I get on with and copes with my anxieties. This morning I had lesson 12 which involved plenty of roundabout, which when I previously tried to learn I hated, busy traffic and confusing lane layouts.

The plan for the rest of the day was supposed to be meeting a friend and then a soft furnishing class, but by the time I got home from my driving lesson I was so drained I could hardly hold a cup of tea.

Eight hours later I still feel totally drained and emotionally fragile. The worse is the annoyance I feel with myself, that I have let my friend down. Just the effort of drinking a cup of tea to drink is tiring.They say tomorrow is another day and a fresh start. But at the moment tomorrow seems a long way off.

The problem with a phobia is how much of your life it can affect. My social phobia even affects my going out into my back garden, because it is overlooked by other houses. So as well as trying to get comfortable going out of my front door I have to feel comfortable going into the garden, hence today's photo.