Made it to week 2

The weather does help to lift my mood, plus it encourages me to try and get out a bit more. Despite yet another bad nights sleep I managed to get up and out this morning, even if it was just to the tip with a neighbour. Though it did mean getting out of my comfort zone as the tip was busy and I didn't know where I was supposed to put my rubbish.

Then it was on to terrorising the streets of Swansea as I continue to learn to drive. Now at the stage where I don't have to take my extra anxiety medication before a lesson, though I am still shaky once I have finished. The next challenge with my driving will be in 10 days as my instructor has already told me in that lesson we will be tackling roundabouts, when I was learning years ago roundabouts always managed to reduce me to near tears.

Dad convinced me today to go out for a meal, this is a big thing as I hate eating in public, because of my size I feel that people would be judging what I am eating. This isn't totally in my mind as a few years ago I read an article by a journalist who wore a fat suit to see if the treatment she received was different. She felt that she got better treatment when she was her normal size and that when she wore the fat suit she felt judged when she was eating out. I am slowly losing weight but unfortunately the depression makes me comfort eat, I try not to and have reduced it greatly but it still happens. I did enjoy the meal but did feel that I was making my choice of meal to be apparently healthy rather than what I would really like.

I know some people reading this will think that I shouldn't care what other people think but that is so much easier said than done. We all care what others think about us to some degree, unfortunately I think more about it than I should.