Safety

Part of my therapy is for me to eventually remove my safety behaviours, these are those behaviours I have in place to enable me to be able to go as much as I do.  These behaviours include walking with my head down, wearing a baseball cap, avoiding eye contact, and using my mp3 player. The thought of dropping these behaviours frightens me almost as much as the thought of going out or meeting new people. I know it is something which I have to do and that it will take time but that doesn't stop me from being anxious about it. Though on the positive side I did manage the walk home from photography the other night without my mp3 player, I really hated it but I did manage it.

It is interesting how many of behaviours appear to be of the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me', totally illogical I know but not all my thought processes are totally logical. These behaviours are so ingrained that if I feel I have had a bad driving lesson I can feel my head drop and I had to physically pull my head up so that I can see far enough up the road ahead.

One thing that I am hoping is that as I continue with my photography my head will come up for longer periods of time in order to look for potential photos that I might miss by purely looking at the pavement.