Starting to have a rough time again, depression seems to amplify doubts and my lack of self confidence and self esteem. On Monday for example I was positive that I knew what I was going to do for my photography exam but doubts have crept in and left me unsure. Whether I am unsure over the question to do or my ability to do it I'm not sure.
These doubts have permeated the rest of my life leading to my head raising no end of other doubts and fears. I know if I can't get a grip soon on this it is going to lead to a downward spiral that might get out of control. I have tried several of the techniques I've been taught to stop it but so far no luck. It is the usual doubts that are being raised, it would be nice if it could be something different for a change at least it would be variety, but instead my head is shouting abuse at me telling me how pathetic and useless I am, that I will not achieve anything and reminds me how lonely I am.
I am trying I'm trying to get out a little more, to do my therapy, but there comes a point where I need some more help from anyone, suggestions how I can get out more, suggestions on feeling less lonely. Where do I turn to? Sometimes I think if I caused more problems to society I might get all the help I need, but I haven't and won't so I am given 12 one hour sessions which won't even scratch the surface and left to fend for myself.
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