Saw my psychiatrist this morning, he's really please with what I have achieved as far as the social phobia goes. He was surprised that I can now go into the garden , most times, without it triggering anxiety.
He wants me to try taking a sleeping tablet for a few weeks to try and get my sleeping into a pattern, he said that Drs don't like prescribing sleeping tablets as they just treat symptoms and not the cause, but he believes that if we can sort my sleep out my depression might improve slightly.
Its interesting talking with him as he never talks down to me, I told him about not eating chocolate late at night as its a stimulant, also no caffeinated drinks after 5 pm, he told that he automatically assumed that I would be doing what I could to help myself. We also discussed the fairly recent increase in thoughts of getting my wrists. I knew these thoughts felt very different to the thoughts when I want harm myself, he believes these thoughts are my minds way of expressing its need for release. He believes that this is due to me having some border personality disorder, which also explains my self loathing.
Instead of coming straight home Dad and I did some shopping ending up at the big marina Tescos. When dad went shopping in Tescos I waited in the cafe, having first ordered a drink, a huge step forward as in the past dad would have had to have got me the drink first. So my progress continues.
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