Bug

The last few days I've had a bug which has left me more tired than usual, but unfortunately my insomnia has kicked in full force. One advantage is my dad caught it and has admitted to me it has given him a better understanding of how tired I feel due to the depression. It isn't just a sleepy tiredness its a feeling that my limbs have been totally drained of energy and have been filled with lead, even typing this blog tonight is a real effort, physical and mental. I have mentioned it before but many people when they think about depression they just think of someone being sad, but there is so much more to it.

Despite all this and a lack of sleep, I have been out into the garden, and done a few jobs around the house. The best thing about going into the garden is that I no longer have to psyche myself up before I go out despite the fact that I know others are using their garden/balconies which overlook mine. Today despite having depression that makes me feel like I want to find a cave or a whole in the ground, my duvet is not enough to hide me, I was out int the garden for several minutes weeding before I thought to look around, like a wary animal.