There are many things I want to do or try but fear ( no other word for it) of failure is stopping me. I love the idea of pinhole photography and have for sometime had the parts to convert a DSLR camera into a pinhole camera, but have kept putting it off as I was so scared of getting it wrong. I have finally made it, but I'm still not sure if the results are any good or not, even if I'm told they are I think the person is being nice. I wish I could get over this. I try but every time I want to try something new the fear emerges.
I managed to go into town today, and even walk through Swansea market on my own. This is a big deal as town was busy, and I knew this before we went it. Plus I would be walking round something new, as there was a food festival in town. One thing that happens when I'm out is I get something called disassociation, basically my vision is like it would be if I've had several very large alcoholic drinks, which makes going round somewhere new an interesting challenge.
I had to face today how bad my social phobia has become, as I love good ice cream, and at the food festival was a stall selling farmhouse ice cream, but I wouldn't buy it as I would have had to eat it out in town, and I'm so terrified of what people would think if they see me eating, especially something like an ice cream.
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